Once there was a young woman. She was 20 years old. She felt independent enough to move out from her home. She knew she would make some mistakes but also knew she could learn from those mistakes. She was a hard worker. She had goals to pursue a college education to become a teacher. She was kind, compassionate and innocent in every way, to fault. She always looked for the good in people and believed they were good at heart.
This young woman had a mother, father and a brother. She watched her brother drift down a dark road and her parents divorce. This young woman's world came crashing down. She tried going down her brothers path and hung out with men who did not know how to respect women. She made poor choices with who she surrounded herself with.
Her Mother offered to meet her for lunch, and in that short lunch period managed to crush this woman's world even more. Her mother words pierced her heart with the wound of rejection. Her Mother disowned her. She no longer had a mother.
The young woman felt completely alone. Yet she was not. She was surrounded by a few older women who she worked with. They reached out to her. They listened to her. They invited her into their home. She surrounded herself with women who cared and understood that she needed guidance, encouragement and love.
A few years later she watched her high school friend lose her mother to cancer. She was unsure how to help or support her friend. She felt grieved that her and her mother were estranged and realized life was short and didn’t want to risk losing her opportunity to reconcile the relationship. At that moment she chose to forgive her Mother. It was the first time in years, but she wanted her Mother to know that she still loved her.
She met a young man who was kind. He respected women. He loved to spend time with her and listen to her. She didn't know he was the one she would build a life with. She just knew he felt safe. They married, and this young woman's Mother was excited. She began to reach out and try to rebuild the bridge that was broken.
Three years into the marriage they were blessed with a child. This bridge was repaired between Mother and daughter as best as it could be. Forgiveness allowed the bridge to start being repaired and love continued the repairs. The young woman, older now, has never forgotten the pain her Mother has caused and chose to build safe boundaries for herself. Yet this woman is thankful that she forgave her Mother because she sees what an amazing grandmother her Mother is. She listens to her grandchildren. She spends time with them. She often speaks life and wisdom into their lives. And she loves them.
Yes, I was that young woman. I share this to celebrate every woman who was my Mother when my Mother could not be. I also share to celebrate how when two people choose to forgive one another, a relationship can begin to be repaired. Even though the relationship is different than my expectations, that is okay. Forgiving my mother was something I did for me so I could heal but the trust that sustains a relationship had to be earned back. It was a slow process to rebuild this bridge but it was worth it. Not only for me, but for my children.
May is the month we celebrate Mother's Day. In this newsletter I want to encourage every women that we all are Mothers of a kind because we all bring life into the world. Each of us have given a part of our hearts and who we are to someone and created something amazing in doing so. We have nurtured and cared for, given of our time and love to someone.
I have been mothered by many women in my life. Women who are my friends. Some are older and others my same age. Women who care for me. Love me and have been there when I needed someone to talk to. They have listened to me and offered sound advice when I needed it. I am forever thankful for these women.
As a Mother myself I can say being a Mother is rewarding. I love to see me or my husband in our children. We can be seen in what they say, how they behave and smile. Yes my children make mistakes, but we choose to embrace mistakes as a time to learn, and try not to make the same mistakes again.
I have been a mother for other children as well. When I was twenty I volunteered through a program that mentored elementary children who were struggling in school. I became a mother to the youth I worked with. I listened and nurtured them with love and compassion. I can say I still keep in contact with some of them.
I have been a mother to some of the teens in the youth class I taught at my church. I offered practical guidance and sound counsel when asked about my thoughts. I prayed for them and asked God to guide them. I am thrilled when I see them around town holding a job and living a successful life.
This Mother's day I want to celebrate all women. The ones with or without children of their own. Make time today to say, "Thank you" to the mothers in your life, and leave room for someone to say, "Thank you." to you for being an awesome mother as well.
Forgiveness is real. It sometimes can be more painful to forgive than the act that caused the need for forgiveness. Yet, studies are proving that when we forgive it benefits is in our soul and physical body. To forgive does not mean we forget. To forgive does not mean we trust. To forgive simple means we let go of the bitterness toward the one who caused us hurt. If you need help with forgiveness. Please give me a call. I would enjoy helping you find the healing in forgiveness.
Bitterness is a poison that contaminates the vessel it is in. Bill Johnson
There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. Bryant H. McGill
We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. Martin Luther King JR